Tears

I've been crying a lot more these last two days. Not really by choice but just to relieve the emotional pressure I think. Mark and I talked tonight about trying to make sure neither of us wallow in self-pity as we go through this. It is really frustrating for everyone when we do that.. I wouldn't say I'm in self-pity but I know that during his recovery, Mark may get there because of the added pain and recovery he will have to go through.

This weekend we have some things planned to get our basement a little more complete. Today was the official DONE day. No more people coming into my house! Now we have to get it cleaned and ready for company. We are going to get a treadmill. One of our goals has always been to get a gym quality treadmill at home. That was why we built a workout section of our basement! I think it will help to have it around for Mark's recovery so we need to it this weekend. I also need to lose 10 lbs.. I've gotten lazy.

This week will be tough. Mark is off from work with things he needs to do. Thursday and Friday he will be in Little Rock for pre-op stuff. It just keeps reminding me we have a major countdown going on.

I am NOT a patient person. I am someone who likes to know things. This I don't know. I don't know anything! I've been driving myself nuts with information on the internet but that only goes so far. I want to know how long my husband will be in surgery, my husband's recovery, what long term affects will happen to my family.. everyone else's story is fine but I want to know about us. Maybe this does count as self-pity.. I just want my husband home and well.

Enough rambling..