Good timing

We got Mark's MRI disk yesterday and got to do our own preliminary review of it. This turned out to be a good thing on many levels - 1. we are no longer thinking that it is growing back 2. we got another copy of the pictures today. The neurosurgeon in Fayetteville - Dr. Runnels - has been our advocate and our ally this entire time. He saw Mark on Thursday last week when he had the MRI done. He may not have known that we got a copy of the disk so he sent some print outs of the MRI scans. What he did though was a potentially bad thing - he changed the contrast on the shots so all of the empty space showed up white. So the hole in Mark's head was WHITE!!! But then again, so were his eyeballs. If that had been the first picture I saw, I think I would have flipped out. As it is, we know it is okay.

On another note, never eat black icing. It is my fault.... I bought the kids a spider cupcake last night as a special treat after dance class. It was really cute actually but I knew we were in for it with the icing. Messy hands, messy faces, messy mouths... Well that also means messy rear-ends when it goes through you. Icing coloring is indigestible. Many different cupcakes, birthday cakes and special treats have taught us this. Well in this case, black turns a very bright green/blue color. The day care ladies were very concerned about William and had to scrub his poor little bottom. Lizzie too.... So we are going to stick with white as much as possible.

Pictures

We got our disk today. Actually Mark got a phone call from our family doctor's office here in Carthage that they recieved their copy of the disk so we expected to have ours here when we got home. We waited until after the kids were in bed to look at the pictures. From what we can tell, we don't see anything in that spot. There is one shade of gray but overall we don't see anything alarming. We will wait for the Little Rock neurosurgeon to have the final say but we are not sitting here panicked for further word. It was crazy becuase the other MRI disk we have is the original MRI that started everything last year. So we were looking at shots of his tumor and then shots of a hole trying to do a comparison.

He has a pretty big freaking hole in his head... The bottom line is it didn't grow back (at least not yet).

It was really hard driving home from dance class. Here we are again, in an emotional position that I thought was behind us. The time leading up to getting the kids to bed was a little edgy for both Mark and I. It is hard not to be. So now we should be clear.. there is always going to be that 'but'.. at least for the first 5 years. After that they say you are truly past it.

Otherwise we are great! We had a fabulous Sunday after the amazing Saturday. We went on a picnic and played in a hay maze, even took a hay ride. Life is very good and I cherish every single day of it.

Great Day

Today isn't over yet but its an awesome day so far. We got up early to go to a local festival that has a parade - the Maple Leaf Parade. We were out of the house by 7 for a 9am parade if that gives you a clue of how popular it is. We found a great place to sit and we had a fantastic place to park. The parade was all local bands and local businesses and groups which made it very homey and fun. William of course went nuts for the tractors and Lizzie said she loved the instruments. I like the off-road vehicles that lined up one next to the other with their wheels on top of their neighbor's wheels - they all looked like dominoes! The Shriners were also impressive. Pretty much a fabulous family outing which is my favorite thing to do.

It is rather odd to go through the same thoughts that we had to talk about after July 21 of last year. Really though, the difference between July 20, 2009 and July 21, 2009 was that we knew about the tumor in Mark's brain. It had always been there, we just didn't know. Right now, we don't know anything but nothing really has changed. Even if something is regenerating, the only difference between today and a few days ago is that now we know about it. It doesn't really change anything as far as our family being fantastic and our lives being wonderful . Mark's head is potentially something we have to figure out (again) and handle but today is still a good day.

Unexpected news

Mark had his 1 year MRI today in Fayetteville. His 6 month MRI was in Little Rock and it came back clean so we had no real deep thoughts of this appointment causing concern. It was such a low priority that I didn't even go with him! That apparently was a mistake we will not make again. He got to see some of the pictures although he didn't get a printout right then and he said he saw white again in the area of the hole in his head. This is bad news because brain matter appears gray-ish and the hole in his head is black. The brain will not regenerate so nothing should be in the big hole except black. White could be bone but in this case white indicates something non-brain in that area which is something. We were expecting nothing. The prognosis after his surgery was that it was a birth defect and that it wouldn't grow back - but they didn't really know. These are rare and they never really know how the brain will react. It is all case by case.

He got to talk to Dr. Runnels who is the first neurosurgeon we saw a year ago who told us it was a tumor in the first place. Dr. Runnels did a quick glance at the scan and is going to send it to Little Rock to review. So now we wait. We have asked for a copy of the scan and have a copy sent to our primary doctor here for records.

This is a helpless time. There is nothing we can do but just wait and live our lives. Usually Mark feels pretty good except for occasional headaches and pressure in his head. Otherwise we are both in the best shapes of our lives! We exercise and play with our kids. Every day we enjoy our lives which will not change. He isn't going anywhere any time soon.

A special day

I haven't written in this since November of last year. No one really knew why Mark and I just stopped writing unfortunately. The reason was that was the time that we had to go through some of the recovery just between the two of us. I'm not sure how many people will read this now but I wanted to at least put a note out here on such a special day.

Today is 1 year since Mark's surgery. What a day that was. I lost my husband and got him back all in the same day. It has been tough this past year but I can tell you that he is doing amazing. The tough parts were the days that he felt fuzzy or unsure of his own mind. He would have emotional swings with no warning which were hard. I didn't always my patience-hat on and I sometimes struggled to understand how he felt.

The truth is this experience has helped us become better people, better partners and better parents. We are in constant amazement of our lives and our children. We don't take today for granted because today is precious. We are one step away from true heaven at all times these days. It is a feeling of pure contentment, happiness and love. I can't believe it most of the time. I never knew I could be so happy!!

Mark will continue to recover for at least another year but we know that things are on the uphill swing for us today. On our one year anniversary, thank you again for everyone who helped our little family. We know of no way to ever repay your kindness.

Almost normal

Well Mark went back to work yesterday. Unfortunately he also picked up that stomach bug so it was a little rough on him. Today was a better day. He is finding out that people really missed him which feels kind of nice. In just over a year, he made such an impression on people. He will continue for 1/2 days this week nad then see how things are going with his energy level. So far, he could probably stay at work all day but its okay to ease back into it.

I'm gearing back up for volleyball season. I'm a club volleyball coach in my free time during the winter. Its rather fun and I've always wanted to do it. It was my first year last year and it was a huge growing experience for me. This year will still be a challenge but I know my way around now which helps. I'm excited about it :)

We got the next appointment time for our followup in Little Rock. Mark's MRI is on February 4 and the visit with the doctor is on the 5th. We will have to figure out what to do about the kiddos and the doggies. Mark is also calling around about his followup care after dr. yasargil. At some point, someone needs to take him off of these meds and it isn't dr yasargil. The VA isn't sure who to ask so we get to chase that one down.

I was just talking to Mark about how amazing it was that the VA covered this. His insurance got billed but the VA picked up the difference for two reasons. As a retiree, they are responsible for his care for 5 years when he got out and then this was service connected. We know the cost was at least $30,000 for the week in the hospital. That doesn't include all the pre and post-op care.

I'd type more but Bear just came up here and flopped down on my arm. Now i'm stuck and typing sucks.

Next step

Mark goes back to work tomorrow. This is huge! He will start out at 1/2 time this week and then they will all decide if he will go back to full time after that. From the visits he did last week, it seems he was missed at work and they will be welcoming him back.

Everyone is well again. We had a great Halloween. We took the kids to the mall on Friday evening and did trick or treating there. It was cute with the kids. Then we dressed them up Saturday and I took them just to a few local houses. They don't need the candy and these were the homes that really care about our kids. Lizzie learned a halloween song from Little Einsteins that I had her sing at the houses. That went over really well :)

We only had 8 trick or treaters - that included our babysitter. Mark and I went out to a party last night dressed as Popeye and Olive Oyl. I drank.. and I was more hung over this morning than I have ever been in my life. Not fun and will NOT be doing that again - at least the hangover part of it.

There must be something wrong with the cozmos tonight.. where is the Sunday night football?? Not that the world series isnt' important but really.. its not as fun as football.

Last thought.. if you are in need of any chocolate or sugar - come to my house. We are giving this crap away to anyone who wants it.