Keep on living!

Its been a great week. Still no word from the VA and there may not be word. The order to have Little Rock review Mark's MRI disk never went anywhere and no one really knows why. There doesn't seem to be much urgency around it though so we aren't too concerned. Mark is feeling good so that's what we are going with.

William was a little sick this week with a cold. He had a low fever and Mark stayed home with him on Wednesday. Just snot and gunk going around this time of year. We actually have some great news about childcare! We have been super-blessed with the best neighbors ever. Denise and I were talking about my concerns with the center the kids attend right now. I don't think I have overly-high standards but it just seems like its tough to find a place we are comfortable with for our kids. Case in point, William normally comes home super-poopy, smelling to high heaven and he's been like that for hours. They both come home with faces caked with snot and dirt so thick we have to really scrub their hands and faces to reach skin again. Call me crazy but I would hope a tissue isn't too much to ask for a snotty nose.

My neighbor Denise (who is an elementary subsitute teacher) and her mom Carol (who is a very nice lady) are going to tag-team taking care of Elizabeth and William. It helps both of them out and it helps us out in ways we can't even begin to thank them! We know that loving people are going to be watching out for our kiddos and they really have their best interests at heart. That is what we have always wanted. I can't wait! We had to give the center two weeks notice and we have 1 more week to go.. It will be fantastic starting the 15th :)

As for me, life is just still good! I LOVE my job. It is a totally different mindset and I love it. Mark is still working on his bachelor's degree. He is finishing up class 2 out of 11 so we have 9 more to go. The whole point is for him to GET THE DEGREE! and then get a better job :) This class wasn't so great in terms of organization or direction with the required papers and assignments. Hopefully the next one will be better. I told him I'd help him wiht his American Pop Culture class :)

What a great week and what a great weekend coming up!

Halloween

We have not heard anything from the VA. That is the first thing I've been asked for the last few days. We are not reading anything into this, we believe it is just the VA and doctors. At this point no news is good news to us. At least we did get to see the MRI ourselves or right now I would be going crazy!

As it is, this is an awesome week! I had both of the projects I requested approved and funds were allocated. I am only just approaching my 90 days a week from tomorrow. So I think things are going well at work :) Tomorrow will be fun. I'll get the kids from daycare early and bring them to work to trick or treat. It will be so much fun! Check out facebook for pictures of them in their costumes.

I just ate a crap ton of ice cream that I didn't need so now my stomach is full which is good but in a sick way which is bad. I'm headed to the bathtub now.... everyone have a great Halloween weekend!!

Down and up

What a weekend! I woke up Friday with a fever and a horrific sore throat. I went to work anyway but they sent me home (mercifully). Not only did my throat hurt, I felt like I couldn't move because I was so wiped out. I slept most of the rest of Friday. I finally got a big hunk of junk out of my throat and I felt a ton better. I think I need to talk to my family doctor about having my adnoids removed. I know for a fact that part of my throat is where the junk sits until I can get it moved out.

Anyway, Saturday was a nice evening out with the neighbors and today has been rather uneventful. I got the kids out of the house this morning so Mark could work on his paper. I took the kids to a local restaurant known for its home cooking and its pies - Granny Shafers. We'd never been there before but holy crap their pancakes are HUGE! So that was fun and the kids were really good.

Tonight was a trip down memory lane. I was printing out some photos for a relative and I was looking at movies that were stored on the computer. These were all of Lizze (pre-William). They were just amazing. There were videos of her crawling and beginning to walk. She was so smart - even at 8 months old. I may be a tad biased but she is also one of the most beautiful babies ever created. It was just incredible to watch those videos and to remember that she was once that tiny. Now she is a big girl who loves (and I mean LOVES) to play Battleship on my iPod.

So right now I'm once again grateful to be a mommy and madly in love with my children. Not that I wasn't before but its just nice to get a fresh wave of strong emotion (like the kind you get when they are born).

Good timing

We got Mark's MRI disk yesterday and got to do our own preliminary review of it. This turned out to be a good thing on many levels - 1. we are no longer thinking that it is growing back 2. we got another copy of the pictures today. The neurosurgeon in Fayetteville - Dr. Runnels - has been our advocate and our ally this entire time. He saw Mark on Thursday last week when he had the MRI done. He may not have known that we got a copy of the disk so he sent some print outs of the MRI scans. What he did though was a potentially bad thing - he changed the contrast on the shots so all of the empty space showed up white. So the hole in Mark's head was WHITE!!! But then again, so were his eyeballs. If that had been the first picture I saw, I think I would have flipped out. As it is, we know it is okay.

On another note, never eat black icing. It is my fault.... I bought the kids a spider cupcake last night as a special treat after dance class. It was really cute actually but I knew we were in for it with the icing. Messy hands, messy faces, messy mouths... Well that also means messy rear-ends when it goes through you. Icing coloring is indigestible. Many different cupcakes, birthday cakes and special treats have taught us this. Well in this case, black turns a very bright green/blue color. The day care ladies were very concerned about William and had to scrub his poor little bottom. Lizzie too.... So we are going to stick with white as much as possible.

Pictures

We got our disk today. Actually Mark got a phone call from our family doctor's office here in Carthage that they recieved their copy of the disk so we expected to have ours here when we got home. We waited until after the kids were in bed to look at the pictures. From what we can tell, we don't see anything in that spot. There is one shade of gray but overall we don't see anything alarming. We will wait for the Little Rock neurosurgeon to have the final say but we are not sitting here panicked for further word. It was crazy becuase the other MRI disk we have is the original MRI that started everything last year. So we were looking at shots of his tumor and then shots of a hole trying to do a comparison.

He has a pretty big freaking hole in his head... The bottom line is it didn't grow back (at least not yet).

It was really hard driving home from dance class. Here we are again, in an emotional position that I thought was behind us. The time leading up to getting the kids to bed was a little edgy for both Mark and I. It is hard not to be. So now we should be clear.. there is always going to be that 'but'.. at least for the first 5 years. After that they say you are truly past it.

Otherwise we are great! We had a fabulous Sunday after the amazing Saturday. We went on a picnic and played in a hay maze, even took a hay ride. Life is very good and I cherish every single day of it.

Great Day

Today isn't over yet but its an awesome day so far. We got up early to go to a local festival that has a parade - the Maple Leaf Parade. We were out of the house by 7 for a 9am parade if that gives you a clue of how popular it is. We found a great place to sit and we had a fantastic place to park. The parade was all local bands and local businesses and groups which made it very homey and fun. William of course went nuts for the tractors and Lizzie said she loved the instruments. I like the off-road vehicles that lined up one next to the other with their wheels on top of their neighbor's wheels - they all looked like dominoes! The Shriners were also impressive. Pretty much a fabulous family outing which is my favorite thing to do.

It is rather odd to go through the same thoughts that we had to talk about after July 21 of last year. Really though, the difference between July 20, 2009 and July 21, 2009 was that we knew about the tumor in Mark's brain. It had always been there, we just didn't know. Right now, we don't know anything but nothing really has changed. Even if something is regenerating, the only difference between today and a few days ago is that now we know about it. It doesn't really change anything as far as our family being fantastic and our lives being wonderful . Mark's head is potentially something we have to figure out (again) and handle but today is still a good day.

Unexpected news

Mark had his 1 year MRI today in Fayetteville. His 6 month MRI was in Little Rock and it came back clean so we had no real deep thoughts of this appointment causing concern. It was such a low priority that I didn't even go with him! That apparently was a mistake we will not make again. He got to see some of the pictures although he didn't get a printout right then and he said he saw white again in the area of the hole in his head. This is bad news because brain matter appears gray-ish and the hole in his head is black. The brain will not regenerate so nothing should be in the big hole except black. White could be bone but in this case white indicates something non-brain in that area which is something. We were expecting nothing. The prognosis after his surgery was that it was a birth defect and that it wouldn't grow back - but they didn't really know. These are rare and they never really know how the brain will react. It is all case by case.

He got to talk to Dr. Runnels who is the first neurosurgeon we saw a year ago who told us it was a tumor in the first place. Dr. Runnels did a quick glance at the scan and is going to send it to Little Rock to review. So now we wait. We have asked for a copy of the scan and have a copy sent to our primary doctor here for records.

This is a helpless time. There is nothing we can do but just wait and live our lives. Usually Mark feels pretty good except for occasional headaches and pressure in his head. Otherwise we are both in the best shapes of our lives! We exercise and play with our kids. Every day we enjoy our lives which will not change. He isn't going anywhere any time soon.