Just going with the flow

So we are just having to wait now. We have to get approvals from Fayetteville for all the pre-surgery testing Dr. Yasargil wants done and the surgery itself. Shouldn't be too big of a deal but just have to get it all scheduled and get it done. In the mean time, we are actually pretty busy. This weekend I am going out for a girl's weekend in Kansas City. It will be a great time just to go have an extended slumber party with alcohol. Then we have one weekend at the end of August that isn't quite packed yet and then Labor day. Mark is going home to North Dakota over Labor Day to visit his parents before the surgery. Then we should be in surgery!

I no longer have this terrible pressure on my chest every second of the day now. The thought of the worst case scenario that we were facing was just crushing. I would be at work just scared of the future. Not that the diagnosis is different - Mark still has a low-grade Astrocytoma. The difference now is the discussion we had with the doctor. When he said his patients have 80% non-recurrence I couldn't even believe it. Mark may fall into the 20% but I'm not going to think about that. Right now, we get this out of his head and this may be it! That kind of knowledge lets me breathe again.

If it hadn't been the world's best micro-neurosurgeon who said that, I wouldn't probably be in this frame of mind. The truth is, this doctor designed the tools and procedures that all other neurosurgeons use to do brain surgery. If you google him, he has credentials a mile long and his word is pretty much gospel in this area.

I will get more nervous as we get closer to the surgery. We have to leave our kids for an overnight - something we have never done together. We still have to be a little prepared for the worst case scenario but the likelyhood of that is a lot less than we thought. I hope no one has to go through the conversations and emotions that I've gone through over the last month.

We are so fortunate that our nightmare may end. There are so many people that do not get that. We are so fortunate that this is Mark and not one of the children. I can't even fathom that.